The bad things are a bit tricky. No matter what the non-clubbie friends or friends without a deformity will never truly be able to relate with you in regards to what you are going through. Sure the good ones try, the bad ones fake it.
In my own experience I really hate to be reminded that there are things that I cannot do. So the concept of asking for help is really difficult for as is accepting help. I do appreciate offers because that means a bit more than "I'm sorry" and the ever dreaded "I hope you get better". The reason I say that one is dreaded is because there really is no such thing until the day that bionic feet are invented. When I hear that or the variants of it like "feel better", I cringe because that honestly means that they have no grasp of the concept that once you start having symptoms, you never really stop having them. Has this cost me many friends, you bet ya. Is it harsh, to me no, because most of my friends have been around me for years, they should know better.
The thing that I will not tolerate at all is disbelief. A lot of people will disbelieve clubbies at first because we look normal usually and carry on like nothing is wrong. So disbelief usually happens to ones that haven't known me very long and they won't be any closer than vague acquaintances that I never think of fondly. The reason is because what I go through on bad days is something that I wouldn't even wish on the devil himself. So to have people disbelieve me is a severe blow to me.
For example, I have recently lost a few friends due to disbelief, one was a friend for nearly 10 years and others I had known for a few months to a couple of years. I don't honestly have time to go into the details but suffice it to say not a one of them knew/know what I am going through right now with my feet. They do not know that I am possibly facing surgery due to a subluxation of my peroneal tendon of my left ankle. They do not know anything about angles of regression and what that actually means. So to paraphrase one of them who said I was "full of shit", think what you want but I hope you, your children or grandchildren never have to experience what I am going through.
The past two weeks have been rough for me. I am still recovering from a stress fracture in my left 3rd metatarsal and in a cam boot. Last Monday morning I woke up and thought that my worst nightmare was coming true, pain, unbelievable pain in my right foot (the more severely affected foot). I couldn't walk, the best thing I could think was to try some deep breathing techniques to calm down a bit then wake my boyfriend up. When I tried to get out of bed I couldn't walk, not even the roughly 4 paces to the bathroom. So I called out of work and then got an appointment with my podiatrist. He then diagnosed me with severe anterior tibial tendonitis with moderate joint inflammation. He prescribed me 2 NSAID's (oral and topical) and gave me very strict orders. Those being: 90% of my day must be either sitting or laying down, no driving at all, and no work for the rest of the week. Simple yes but some people, no matter what you do or say will always take things out of context and twist them (take a look at Fox News, they make millions off that).
So here I sit on a Friday night, knowing that support can be very hard to find. Those true friends who stand by you and vise versa are rare indeed. So to you out there be it parents of clubbies, spouse/boyfriend/significant other of clubbies, friends of clubbies, and most of all the lucky clubbies who do not have problems as an adult, look to those clubbies who struggle with pain every day to show you how to treat them. Be mindful that we in constant pain have very little tolerance for B/S in all forms because we cherish those wonderful moments where there is minimal pain or no pain. If you happen to start something with us during those bad days, we may lash out and honestly not have a clue what is going on.
To those uncaring disbelievers, please kindly sod off!!
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